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Finding a Dream
By
Erin McCabe
Reprinted from Life Changing Words: The Transforming Power of Affirmative Prayer I can remember how my
hand felt as I wrote the words. It was as
if they were clothed with an air of deceit. Seemingly stealing
something that
was not mine, I felt embarrassed and undeserving as I wrote down my
affirmation. I watched my back to be sure I was not seen while deep
within me
there was a passion, a yearning. There was integrity in the words
beneath the
facade—a power, a truth that my heart knew to be strong. The words were
pouring
forth from my soul. This was the moment
that changed my life. I met my day of
opportunity, but I did not know it at the time. Playing small, I had
been
dishonoring my passion in my heart. Somewhere in my mind I was falling
short of
believing that I am an expression of the most high, the Divine, and
that I am
worthy and I can create the life I choose. That was my sin. In Unity, we say we are
punished by our sins
rather than for
them. The word “sin” is an old archery term that means “missing the
mark.” I was missing
the mark because I was
falling short of my potential. My punishment occurred every time my
inner voice
said: “I want to do
that. I want to be
like that. I think I
could. But …” and then proceeded
to give in to fears, anxieties, and limitations. The words I wrote that
day were “I am a singer-songwriter with
advanced guitar-playing skills.” Then with timidity I added “I will
have a CD
out within a year.” The year was 1996 and I
was participating in a weekend workshop.
We were all asked to find a dream, one we thought was too big to come
true.
Perhaps “ridiculous” would be a good word to describe this dream we
were to be
looking for. Following the
instructions, I wrote my affirmation and hid it
from the people next to me out of fear of their response and my
embarrassment.
See, I had never written a song before, and I did not even know how to
play the
guitar. In fact, I did not even own one. So I hovered over that paper,
covering
the words as I wrote. Then it happened—my nightmare. From the platform
microphone I heard, “Now share what you wrote with the people around
you.” “Oh, come on!” I
whimpered in my head. But I did it anyway. I
wanted this dream to be a reality, and I was willing to be teachable. A few years later I
pulled up at a stoplight on my way to work
and suddenly began to cry. I was listening to my first recording, and I
instantly remembered the day I wrote these words … “I am a singer-songwriter
with advanced guitar-playing
skills.” My dream was no longer
abandoned in my mind. It was alive and
breathing. My dream became real by the very power of the word, and the
universe
provided everything I needed along the way. That recording evolved into
my
first CD, appropriately titled Come
On,
followed by a second, titled Believe
It.
The journey from there
to here is nothing short of a miracle in my mind.
Willing to be teachable, I followed the instructions and stepped up to
the
plate. And so did the universe. I held the vision that was holding me
and
conditioned my mind with that affirmation. Funny how it all fits
together. Is
it synchronicity that, when placed side-by-side, my CD titles read,
Come On, Believe It? |